Light years away
by YulianaHenderson
Summary: "'I don't know what happened, but Lisbon's in trouble. I'm gonna take her to a hospital just to let them check up on her, you need to go to her house and have a look. Let me know.' 'What's wrong? What did she do' Jane looked over at Lisbon, who was simply staring ahead of her." Jisbon, Pike. Angst/Hurt/Comfort. Multi-chapter, Rated T just to be sure. Set before Black Hearts.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hiyah! I'm back from my (multi-chapter) death! I've spent all weekend working on this story, and even though I'm pretty nervous about it since it might be a bit too OOC, I'm also somehow very proud. I hope you'll like it! This story is set before Black Hearts, or at least before Pike proposed to Lisbon.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_Prologue_

When it came to insomnia, Patrick Jane was an expert. Nights where he could sleep during the night without waking up once had been so long ago that he couldn't even remember where he was, or when it had taken place. He supposed it had been in his early childhood.

He fiddled with his phone. It was eerily quiet around him, which was a strange occurrence. He was always surrounded by noise these days. The silence didn't help him relax in the slightest.

His mind went back to the mess he found himself in. How would he fix all this? He couldn't possibly walk up to her front door and tell her that the man she was dating wasn't the one for her, but the man standing in front of her was, now could he? She would hit him and it would make matters even worse, he knew.

"Jane!"

He startled, opening his eyes.

"Your phone is buzzing."

Indeed it was, Jane found as he looked down at it. He sat up straight and picked up. He already knew who it was.

"Lisbon?"

For a while, he didn't hear anything, except for some faraway panting. Until a familiar voice spoke eventually.

"Jane?"

"Lisbon? Are you okay?"

"Jane… Jane, I need your help."

His heart automatically started an Irish River dance in his chest, as it always did when she was seemingly in danger.

"I… I… Jane… I shot… I shot Marcus."

His mind was taking an awfully long time to process what she was saying, and as she continued, he still honestly had no idea what she had just told him.

"I killed Marcus Pike."

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><p><strong>AN: **I've written everything of this story so far, except for the Epilogue which I'm not sure of, but just so you know, I will be finishing it! I hope you like the first look of this! It'll be largely Angsty, just a fair warning. Let me know if you like it, or if you don't like it - let me know anyway, thank you very much!****


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Oh my god. I had already lost my shit when I got like five reviews within half an hour but then when I woke up this morning and checked my email - I HAVE 18 REVIEWS NOW I'VE BEEN CRYING ALL DAY. And soooo many follows already, oh my god. Just so you know, I'm so freaking glad that you let me know what your thoughts were!**

**Hope you'll like it!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 1**_

He wanted to say a thousand things, ask a billion questions, but as he opened his mouth to voice his thoughts, he found no sound came out of him. On the other side, he heard her panting intensify. As he searched for the instructions of his vocal chords, she was proper hyperventilating.

"I... I have no idea… what to… do now…"

"Are you at home?" Finally, some sound.

"Y-yes."

"Stay there. I'm on my way." He could hear her hyperventilating, and all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms and make her feel safe, let her know that he was there and that he would take care of her. But he couldn't, since there was not only a physical but also an emotional distance between them. He couldn't let her know that it would be okay, even though he had no idea what had happened and what had made her do what she apparently just had.

"Okay."

He rushed to his car, not bothering with explaining anything to the team. He felt their gaze on his back but didn't let it deter him from his mission – going over to Lisbon as fast as possible and get her – _them_ – out of his terrible mess.

~…~

She was sitting on her front porch, her arms wrapped around her bent knees and her frame shaking. He didn't park Cho's car, which he had 'borrowed' for the occasion, but merely jumped out of it and sprinted over to her.

"What happened?" He tried to get a good look behind her but he found the door was closed. She didn't meet his eyes as he lowered his to look at her.

"Lisbon? Talk to me."

She was going into shock now, or was maybe even already in one. He lowered to her eye level and made her look at him.

Just as he'd thought – she was in shock. A quick assessment moreover let him know she wasn't otherwise injured, though.

He shrugged off his jacket and put it around her shoulder, and that was when he spotted the blood on her clothes, on her face and even in her hair.

"Oh, Teresa…"

He made her stand up. He had to take her somewhere safe, somewhere warm. He debated taking her inside her house but then realized that would make her shock even worse, if what she'd told him of what she'd done was right. He didn't know what had happened, didn't know the circumstances, so he was afraid of calling for backup from Abbott or Cho. Although… Cho would possibly be willing to help Lisbon, even if it turned out she'd done something horribly, terribly wrong.

So he escorted her to the car, and made her sit down in the passenger seat. He made sure she was comfortable, before getting out his phone from his pocket and dialing Cho's number. Said man didn't state his name – he probably had the feeling something was wrong anyway.

"I don't know what happened, but Lisbon's in trouble. I'm gonna take her to a hospital just to let them check up on her… you need to go to her house and have a look. Let me know."

"What's wrong? What did she do?"

Jane looked over at Lisbon, who was simply staring ahead of her.

"I… just go to her house. Call me."

With that, he hung up. He hoped she wasn't in too big of a trouble. Otherwise, he knew, it would indirectly be his fault, seeing as he had pushed her into Marcus Pike's arms.

He started the car and drove away, leaving her house unguarded, with all the lights on and the front door unlocked. He prayed to God Cho would be there before the neighbors started to think something was suspicious.

The drive to the hospital was long and silent. He couldn't stop thinking about what she'd told him on the phone.

"_I killed Marcus Pike."_

She wasn't a killer. Sure, she could kill, but that was only when it was absolutely necessary. He couldn't think of a possible scenario in which it was needed for her to shoot to kill when it came to Pike, unless…

He looked over at her. The shaking had subsided, but she was staring at the same dead spot as she had minutes before. Her hands were clasped together on her lap.

He would have seen if… _that_ had happened, right? He would have noticed that she wasn't happy. Wouldn't he?

Right before turning onto the parking lot of the hospital, he made an unexpected left turn and drove away.

She was in trouble. It didn't matter what had happened, she had killed someone. Taking her to the hospital was only going to make things worse, seeing as the authorities would then know where she was. They would pick her up and she would have to face the consequences he'd never had to. He couldn't put her through that, not his Lisbon.

So instead, he drove to God knows where, hoping that eventually, he would be able to help her. Because right now, he wasn't sure he could.

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you liked it so far, and I'm dying to see your thoughts!**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews! My original plan was to post a new chapter every two days but now I just can't wait to show you each new chapter, because you're all so enthusiastic! So, here you go, the new chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 2**_

He had driven back to the headquarters, but had parked the car at a considerable distance from the building. He got out, throwing a look over his right shoulder to make sure Lisbon was okay, then looked the car and ran to the parking lot. He quickly got out the keys to his Airstream, starting the silver bucket and drove away, to the spot where he had just left Lisbon and Cho's car.

His phone was buzzing frantically in his pocket, but he couldn't pick up yet, not now that they were so close to the building. He hoped Cho hadn't sounded all the alarms within the FBI, that he hadn't started a national search for them – or his car, for that matter.

He arrived back at the car and unlocked it, reaching out his hand for Lisbon to take it. Yet she didn't reply, didn't even raise her head to look at him. He sighed quietly and opened the door of the Airstream, before putting his arms underneath her still body and carrying her inside. He sat her down at the passenger seat and once she was safely seated, he drove away.

Now again, he had no idea where he was driving. All he knew was that he had to leave here, not even knowing if this was the right move, not knowing if in his need to help Lisbon he'd made everything worse.

~…~

It was slowly getting light outside when he finally left the interstate and parked outside a diner. He turned to Lisbon, who was pretty much in the same position as he'd left her.

He got out of his seat and crouched down beside her. He put a hand to her arm, hoping she would respond.

No such luck.

He sighed and pulled on her knees, turning her in the seat and making her look at him.

"Lisbon… I don't know what happened, and I don't know what will happen from now on… and I don't even know if what I'm doing is the right thing, but all I know is that I want to help you. Okay? You don't need to tell me what happened if you don't want to. I just want you to know that I'm here for you now, okay? That's all."

On a whim, he brushed one of her soft cheeks with the back of his hand, then was reminded of the dried up blood there.

He got up and went to the little bathroom in the back next to the bedroom, getting dry and moist towels, before returning to her. As he cleaned up her face, he suddenly saw her eyes scanning his face.

He lowered the towel. "Do you need anything?"

It took her a few moments to respond, but when she did, she merely shook her head.

"Thank you," she whispered hoarsely. He almost sighed in relief as she was responding to him again, showing him that the initial shock was wearing off. He pressed his lips into a firm line and nodded faintly.

"It's okay, Lisbon. No problem."

When he had finished cleaning the blood off her face, he suggested she lie down for a little while. She agreed, although he helped her get to the bed in the back. His jacket dropped to the floor and so did her own. She almost instantly closed her eyes and seemingly fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

He looked at her for a few minutes, until the annoying buzzing of his phone returned. This time, he got it out of his pocket and answered the call.

"Cho, have you got news for me?" he asked, keeping his voice low since he didn't want Lisbon to wake up.

"Jane… Jane, this isn't good."

Jane's stomach clenched, and he thought he would throw up. And he hadn't even heard what was wrong yet.

"When I arrived at the house, I found Pike, in a pool of his own… well, his own blood. There were several bullet holes in his chest and face. The gun, it's, uh… it's Boss'. I wasn't sure what to do with all this… and what you were and are planning to do now. But, I called Abbott…"

Jane already started protesting, the bottom of his stomach falling down. But Cho interrupted him.

"We can't do this alone, Jane. I don't know what happened either, but from what I saw, it's not good. It's not good at all. I asked Abbott to keep it quiet for a little longer, until we know what to do." He paused. Lisbon stirred in the bed, restlessly trying to find a more comfortable position to be in. "How is she?"

Jane looked over at her again, although he had to admit he hadn't really taken his eyes off her while talking to Cho. Yet now, he focused on her still form.

"I honestly don't know. She, she was in shock at first… I think that's subsiding now… I have no idea what to do, Cho. I wanted to bring her to a hospital but I thought that was more dangerous. Now, I regret not taking her."

He knew he should've taken her to a hospital. But the memory of his own escaping justice had kicked in immediately in front of the hospital, and he had only seen one option – _run_. No matter what she had done, from what he heard of Cho, this wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. And even though she was a cop, if she killed someone without a good motive, she would have to suffer the consequences. And he knew that if there was one place she wouldn't survive, being a cop, it was prison. No inmate liked cops, it was the only thing they all had in common. He couldn't send her there, not even for one night.

"Okay. Make sure she's okay. I'll- I'll try and figure out what to do next. I'll keep you updated."

"Thank you."

"Oh, and Jane?"

"Yes?"  
>"Don't do anything stupid, please. We've got enough troubles as it is."<p>

For probably the first time since his life had shattered, he obeyed someone who wasn't called Teresa Lisbon. Funny, how the worst situations can bring out the best in someone.

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><p><strong>AN: Next chapter will have more Lisbon. Hope you enjoyed, see you tomorrow! (Hopefully...)**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for not updating this yesterday, it was a long long day. Had to wake up at 5 am, got into bed at 11 pm. Hope you can understand why it was a long day, lol.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 3**_

As she slept more, he couldn't find his own sleep. After all, he was an experienced insomniac, but he couldn't leave her out of his sight now. He couldn't go to sleep because he wouldn't be alert, leaving her at her weakest all by herself.

Therefore, instead of resting with her, he resorted to sitting against the headboard, looking down at her for hours. Wondering what she'd done, and why. What had happened? Why had she done this? _Why?_ She must have had a pretty damn good reason for it, otherwise she wouldn't have done it. And still, he didn't want to think of it, didn't want to think of the injustice put upon her.

She started stirring again, only now, it wouldn't stop, as it had in the hours before that moment. Instead, she slowly started thrashing her arms around until she was all but hyperventilating, and he was left staring at her, until she let out a heart wrenching scream and he acted as if on automatic pilot, pulling her up and into his arms, making her inch closer until she was as close to him as she could.

Then, he had to watch helplessly as she registered her nightmare, and started sobbing in his arms. He could only rub her upper arms and ran a hand through her hair from time to time.

Fair enough, she eventually calmed down and lay in his arms, her face rested against his chest. He hoped she took comfort out of his erratic heartbeat, because he didn't.

After some time, she looked up at him. He saw the shock had now completely left her eyes, but instead it was replaced by fear. He knew by looking into her eyes that she had remembered what she'd done, and that she had no idea what to do either.

"Hey," he whispered gently. She closed her eyes briefly, before lowering her head and deciding to look at another spot in the room. That was fine, he supposed, if it made her calm.

"Hey," she returned, a little absent.

"How are you feeling now?"

She took a while with answering that question.

"To be honest… I'm scared now."

He nodded and put a hand on her head.

"I… I don't know… why I did it… I… it's all a blur now, the moments up until I, I did it, really… I can only remember pulling the trigger, I don't even know how many times, until I was out of bullets… I messed up…" Suddenly, she looked up at him. "I'm so scared, Jane."

He replaced his hand with his lips, planting a butterfly kiss in her hair, reminding him of the remains of blood there. That was for another time, not now.

He would say it would all be okay, but he would be lying then. And right now, lying was the last thing she could take. So rather than telling her empty lies, he told her the only truth he knew.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Lisbon. I promise." Even though that was a cold lie, too.

She seemed to think that was enough comforting for now, as she rested her head against his chest again. If only he could believe his own words.

~…~

He drove a little further, afraid they would be leaving a clear trail if they would stay in one place for too long. He eventually stopped at another diner, and decided they both needed to eat something.

She was doing better now, although he clearly see the fear in her eyes. They ate in silence, neither knowing what to do or say. That was until she put her knife and fork down, though, and looked over at him.

"I will tell you what happened eventually."

He nodded. "I know. It's okay. Take however long you need."

She stared at him, then nodded too and looked at her food again. Yet after a few moments, she returned her gaze to him.  
>"What do you know? Of what I did, I mean."<p>

He sighed and put his knife and fork down, too. He didn't really want to discuss this in a busy diner, especially not since she was on the run. He arranged for their food to be put in a bag so they could continue their breakfast in the Airstream. When inside, he answered her.

"I know you shot him. And that you didn't shoot just once. But that's all I know."

She nodded. Watching her body language, that was all he should know for now. They continued their breakfast in silence.

~…~

"Cho."

"Hey, Jane. People are catching up with what happened. And seeing as you two are missing right now, they put two and two together. They know now, I think."

_Shit_. Despite Jane's not-so-carefully-constructed plan, he couldn't prevent people from knowing what had happened. Now that most people knew, he knew it would be harder to keep Lisbon from the consequences she undoubtedly had to face when they got back.

They could always stay away forever, but at the same time he thought of that, he knew it wouldn't work. The FBI had found him when he had been in Venezuela, so he was a hundred percent certain that they would find Lisbon if they knew of her guilt. The FBI was possible of doing _anything_.

"I'm sorry, Jane. But you can't stay away forever. They will find you, and they'll be pissed at me for not telling them about my involvement. We might make matters worse. It's best if… if you and Boss come back."

Jane nodded, feeling his heart clench as he did. He knew Cho was right, and he knew it was the right thing to do. Yet still, it felt as though he was pushing her right into the arms of the enemy, as though he was deliberately putting a cross on her face. Much like the one she'd had during his hunt for Red John.

Just as he was about to respond to Cho, he heard a rather insistent knock on the door. Without checking who it was, he knew where they were from, or rather _what_ they were from.

He looked over at Lisbon, who was sitting on the short couch, her hands already clasped in her lap.

"Cho I gotta go," he said, absentmindedly.

"FBI, open up!"

He felt his need to protect her overwhelm his entire being, and all he wanted to do was pick her up and take her away from here – except he had already done so, and it hadn't worked out quite as he'd wanted it to.

He could read the fear in her eyes, tears forming, threatening to spill onto her pale cheeks. He could only reach out and brush her shaking hands.

He walked up to the door but just before he was about to open up, he turned to her again.

"Do you want to hide?" he whispered. He could see she was thinking over his suggestion, but then simply shook her head. He nodded, returning to the door, where the knocking had reached a deafening crescendo. He knew that if he wouldn't open now, they would kick in the door. So he opened up.

In front of him were three agents standing, one woman and two men, all of them dressed in expensive Italian suits. If only Jane had been able to pay for these suits with his paycheck from the same company.

"Hello Sir. We're here for Teresa Lisbon."

Jane nodded.

"I know. She's, uh, she's inside."

The three were already moving to go inside but he stopped them.

"Can I ask you for a favor, though?" He didn't await their response. "Can you treat her with a little dignity? She's a cop, too, you see."

The agents nodded after looking at each other for confirmation. Then, he stepped aside, and as one of the men and the woman stepped up to Lisbon who was still sitting on the couch, the other man made Jane turn around. He was confused for a moment, but then he realized.

_Of course._

"Mister Jane, you're going to have to come with us for suspicion of accessory to murder-" He didn't listen anymore. Instead, he looked over his shoulder to see the lady cop carefully lifting Lisbon to her feet and guiding her out of the Airstream.

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><p><strong>AN: I don't know how these things work, but it sounded sort of rational, so there you go. The same applies to everything in this story - I don't know if it's the way it goes in real life but for the sake of the story, they happen the way they do here. Please, let me know what you thought! Thanks in advance!**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I recently got into Five Nights at Freddy's and I don't think I've ever been so paranoid in my life. Also, thanks for the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 4**_

"Do you want something to drink, Mister Jane? Water, or tea perhaps?"

Jane shook his head. He was fumbling with his hands, not knowing what to do with all this concealed worry and frustration. On the one hand, he wanted to reach across this room and grab this man forcefully, asking where Lisbon was and demand her to be released. Yet on the other hand, he knew she was here for a reason, and he probably too, although he hoped he could prove his innocence to these agents. He wouldn't be able to help her if he was in jail, too.

"It's a pretty awkward situation, isn't it, Mister Jane?"

"Well, awkward isn't quite the word I would use for this, but if it fits your interpretation-"

"Let's just cut to the chase, shall we, Patrick. Can I call you Patrick?"  
>Jane shrugged.<p>

"We received word from Supervising Agent Dennis Abbott over at Austin. It's pretty clear that your girlfriend agent Lisbon killed agent Pike. Now, the thing that we're trying to figure out is what your part in it was. So, where were you at the time of the murder?"  
>He ignored the fact that this officer seemed to have almost closed the case against Lisbon. It only caused his hands to shake more.<p>

"I was at the office."

"Can anyone testify to that?"

"Yes. Agent Jason Wylie."

The agent nodded. "We've spoken to him. He confirms your alibi."  
>Jane leant forward in his chair, putting his forearms on the table.<p>

"Then why am I here?"

"I wanted to see how you deal with your girlfriend being locked up."

"I don't see why that's relevant to the case."

The agent mimicked Jane's stance. Yet while the agent obviously meant to make him uncomfortable with his action, it didn't affect Jane in the slightest. After all, he was already feeling anxious to begin with.

"Mister Jane. You took away our prime suspect without our consent."

"She wasn't your suspect yet when we fled."

"You tempered with evidence by cleaning her up, you messed with our investigation… tell me why I shouldn't be throwing you into a prison cell for obstruction of justice."

Jane fiddled with his wedding ring automatically, but it didn't grant him the same comforting feeling as it had so often over the past decade. Quite frankly, it only served to make him feel more anxious.

"I didn't help her. I didn't do it. If in Lisbon's eyes, Pike had to die, I would have done it for her." He probably shouldn't have said that, but he couldn't take it back anymore. "Whatever the circumstances were under which she acted, I already know they're justified."

The agent sighed and got up, walking around the table in a full circle, before approaching the one-way mirror. Classic cop move, he'd seen Lisbon do it a thousand times. Whenever she had done it, it had been a sign that the person she was interrogating at that moment was telling the truth, and that they should be released.

"The thing is, Mister Jane – I believe you."

And with that being said, Jane was soon guided out of the room.

~…~

Abbott had arrived on scene, too, bringing with Cho, Wylie and Fischer. He insisted Jane should visit the morgue where Pike was kept, but he simply couldn't, considering the morgue he meant was in Austin, and they were in Gainesville, TX, which was about four hours away. He couldn't leave Lisbon here, not without knowing she would be fine.

"I just want to see Lisbon," he whispered, not finding the strength within him to speak out loud. He hadn't slept for a while now, and while in the past it hadn't been a problem to him, he hadn't needed to take care of his best friend in such a situation either.

"I'm afraid you can't yet, Jane. They're still keeping her here. It's, uh, it's pretty bad, the charges against her. I don't know what it will result in, but it can't be good."

Jane heard his boss' voice as though from a great distance, as suddenly his world blurred all around him. _No!_ He didn't want to hear one more thing from them, their words only making his pain worse.

"I think I need to… to sit… down…" he murmured, then sank to the floor, feeling multiple hands on him to try and make sure he was okay.

He couldn't care less. He wanted this to all be over.

~…~

Abbott had successfully convinced Jane to look at Pike after the man was transferred to the FBI Dallas morgue. He already felt sick and hadn't even seen him yet.

Fair enough, he was dead. And while he felt horrible for thinking about it, he had wished for this man to die so many times over the past few weeks, but now that he was laying in front of him, his skin pale, he wished he could take it back. All of these awful thoughts had been clouded by a strong jealousy, and he hadn't been able to think clearly.

Still though, he couldn't stop thinking about _why_ Lisbon had shot him. And not just with one bullet, but with several. If there was one thing he knew of those rare moments where she had been forced to shoot to kill, or at least stun, one bullet was all she had needed. Yet now, he could see several bullet holes in Pike's chest and forehead. She must have been freaking terrified, to have used all of these bullets.

"I want to speak to her." He had tried several times in the past few hours, but he had always received the same response – _'I'm sorry, Jane, they're still keeping her locked up.'_

"Okay."

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><p><strong>AN: Next chapter will have Lisbon tell Jane what happened! Hope you're excited for that! Let me know, thanks in advance!**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Boy am I glad you still like this story up until this point! Because I'm pretty sure it's all gonna go downhill from here... oh well, I'll let you be the judge of that!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 5**_

Sitting across from her, separated only by a plain table, he wanted to tell her so many things. He wanted to hold her in his arms, comfort her, promise her the entire world, tell her exactly what she needed to hear. But he couldn't. He couldn't lie to her anymore. Judging from her facial expression, she couldn't take an awful lot anymore anyway.

Then, she opened her mouth and explained.

"He, uh… from the beginning of our relationship, he had only been loving and sweet and everything I needed at the moment… but he wanted more and he moved too fast for me. And when I told him, he… he wouldn't accept it. So that night, when I came home from work and just wanted to sleep, he wanted to, to have sex. I refused. He got angry." She averted her eyes, looking down at her lap. He could see tears were streaming down her cheeks now. Then suddenly, she looked up at him again.

"Jane, he scared me so much… I was so scared. He reminded me of my father when he was about to beat the crap out of me." She reached up, wiping away her tears. "When he reached out for me, his eyes were pure rage. I thought he would kill me. I just… I freaked out."

And there it was. He had thought this was the explanation but he hadn't wanted it to be true, didn't want to think about the fact that he had accepted her to be in that relationship even though he had felt something was off. He shouldn't have pushed her into his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Lisbon," he whispered. He wanted to say he had no idea what to do now, but it wouldn't calm her down in the slightest, he knew. So instead, he kept it at that, and watched her shake her head, clasping her hands together again.

"You didn't do anything."

They were silent for a while after that.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Because if Pike had hurt his Lisbon, Jane would personally go back to the morgue and kill him all over again. But then slowly. And painfully.

"No."

He wanted to reply, but the officer in the corner of the room told them that their time was up, and he made Jane stand up and leave the room.

"I'll get you out, Lisbon!" he was able to yell behind him, before the door closed behind him with a heavy thud.

~…~

He hadn't been able to sleep the entire night, which wasn't a surprise for him anymore. Yet instead of worrying about her, he sat at his improvised desk for hours, thinking through her options. There had to be a way of getting her out of this mess, and he was destined to find it. Even it would force him to stay up for the rest of his life, or until he broke down from exhaustion, whichever was longest.

It was Fischer who found him the next morning. He felt her warm hand on his shoulder.

"Have you even slept?"

He didn't grace that question with an answer.

"He was scaring her," he told her. He could feel her frown, even from this distance. "Kim, he was emotionally abusing her."

It was quiet behind him for a while.

"That's sad."

He turned around in his chair.

"No, you don't understand. He was _abusive_. We can use this in her defense, right?"

She seemed to think this through while pulling up a chair, sitting down beside her. Yet eventually, she merely sighed.

"It's emotional abuse. We can't prove that. There are no bruises or scars."

"Can't she take a psychological assessment or something?"

She shook her head, sadly. "No physical evidence."

He suddenly hit his fist on the desk. "Dammit!" As he got up to show his clear frustration, he only saw black for a few moments, until his head met the cold floor.

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><p><strong>AN: I**'m gonna speed up the story a bit... not too much yet, don't worry. But it's just a fair warning. Let me know, please! Thanks for reading so far!****


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry for not uploading before! In the night between Thursday and Friday I suddenly got so freaking ill I threw up twice and ended up with a fever of 101,2 °****F. I was so stubborn I just couldn't call in sick, I hate that, so I went to Schiphol anyway to work but when I came home yesterday evening I was so tired and feeling so horrible I went to bed immediately and slept for 12+ hours. So I hope you'll understand why I didn't upload sooner, but sorry for delaying, anyway!**

**This chapter, things will go downhill. Good luck.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 6**_

He had been forced to be admitted into the hospital due to his severe lack of sleep and his abandonment of his own well-being. As though he cared how he was feeling, while she was still locked up far away from him.

It was trial day, he knew. In his long and lonely days in the hospital (six days too much, if they asked him) he had gathered as much evidence that would work in her defense as possible. Somewhere at the bottom of his stomach, he knew that it wouldn't help anyway. It was a lost cause, but he still fought for it with every single inch of him. No matter what, he would fight for _her_. She didn't deserve this.

The team had come and picked him up to bring him to court, but as he was standing in front of the door of the courtroom, he couldn't go on anymore. He knew where this would end up at. He didn't want to have confirmation.

Eventually it was Fischer who forced him inside. A few minutes later, Lisbon was brought in, her skin awfully pale and her eyes glassy. All he wanted now was to hold her in his arms, even though he knew that wouldn't happen anymore. His heart cried out for her.

The accuser was treating this case as one where Lisbon would fit the criminal profile – she had a tons of books on serial killers and mass murders on her bookshelves, she had killed before and she had a lot of guns at her home, too much for it to be legal. It was a strong case, Jane knew. The only thing her lawyer had was that she was emotionally abused by Pike, but that was all. The accuser was going way too fast and they couldn't keep up with it. Somehow, Jane had always known that it was a lost cause anyway. They would lose.

More importantly, he would lose _her_. His heart broke.

"Your Honor, we find the defendant, Teresa Lisbon, guilty of murdering Marcus Pike."

Fischer had to hold him back before he had the chance to cry out and jump over all people present to take Lisbon with him and bring her somewhere close.

There was no going back now. She was found guilty, and she would have to face the consequences.

It didn't help that he knew the average prison sentences for murderers in the state of Texas. If only, it made him anxious for the rest of his life, no matter what would happen.

~…~

He longed to brush her cheek and hold her. Let her revel in his warmth – he personally knew how cold it could get in prisons.

"Well, at least we tried," she whispered. He hadn't heard her voice at full capacity for ages now. He knew she wasn't capable of that right now, if she ever would be.

"It doesn't have to be that bad," he tried, definitely not about to tell her about the minimum of thirty years. It would only serve to make her nervous. And even though he knew it would _definitely_ be bad, it was the only thing he could do not to grow insane, or her for that matter.

"It will be," she replied. He lowered his head, nodding.

"I know."

~…~

"I hereby sentence Teresa Lisbon to an imprisonment of thirty-five years."

Now, Jane actually jumped out of his chair before any of the team could stop him. He cried out, against everything he had told himself he wouldn't do. He cried out for her, for her soul, her heart, her everything. He pleaded with the Judge to spare her, to let her pay a huge fine, make her work for years to repay her debt to society.

But nobody listened. Instead, all they did was escort him out. As they did, he could have sworn he'd seen Lisbon's gross sobbing.

And still, he knew he wouldn't give up. He would find a catch in the deal that allowed him to do what he was best at – break the law in an attempt to save the people he cared about.

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><p><strong>AN: ... You still there? Good! Please let me know what you're feeling, it would mean a lot! **

**Btw, the average prison sentence in Texas is 30-99 years, can you imagine? Here in The Netherlands, people will get away with a three-year-sentence after killing two people, and in Texas you might go to prison for the rest of your life! I almost got a heart attack when I found out, lol.**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks so much for your reviews! I just wanted to emphasize once again that I know things don't happen in real life like they do in this story - I'm just taking artistic license here. I've done research into some things but not enough to say I'm an expert now. Hope you'll be able to bear with me.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 7**_

He lay awake at night, her face appearing in every single one of his dreams. He would imagine what she could be doing now, and somehow, he knew it wasn't sleeping.

Thirty-five years. She'd gotten a prison sentence of thirty-five years. 420 months, 12809 days, 18446366 minutes. All of which she would have to spend in prison, away from the world she loved so much, away from all the people who cared for her, all her loved ones. Away from _him_.

The felt cold now. His heart was numb. He wondered how it was possible for him to feel this way, seeing as he had never had her in his life like that. But then he knew that they had been friends for over a decade now, and to each other, they had become a big part of their lives. Everything, or almost everything they had done over these years, they had done together.

Yet somewhere along that road, for him something had changed. From that moment on, every time she was around, his heart and stomach would start acting all crazy and he would get light-headed. It had been a night much like the one he found himself in now in which he realized the reason for his heart's antics – he was in love with her. Awfully, helplessly, irrevocably in love. It shouldn't have happened, for God's sake. It only made him more vulnerable for pain and heartbreak. But He be damned if it didn't make him the happiest man he knew, just for knowing her and having the honor of being friends with her. Even if he wanted them to be more than that, he lucky already to be her friend. He didn't think she reciprocated his feelings anyway.

He sighed desperately. He had to get the woman he loved out of jail, no matter what.

~…~

"I'm here for Teresa Lisbon."

The guard nodded, typed some things into the computer in front of her and then nodded again.

"We'll get her. You can go take a seat over there."

He did as he was told, all the while feeling as though he was about to explode. At the same time, he wanted to both see her but also not see her. He hadn't seen her since the verdict, and he didn't know how she was holding up. Judging by how she had been during the trial, it couldn't be good. He knew that seeing her, without being able to hold her or comfort her in any way, wouldn't be so satisfying as he had originally thought. Yet he would take everything he got.

He was horribly shaking by the time he was seated in one room that looked an awful lot like an interrogation room. She was brought in, and he almost jumped up out of his chair to embrace her.

"No touching," the guard grumbled, and then the door closed with a heavy thud.

He looked her over, his eyes falling on her disheveled hair, her pale skin and her glassy eyes.

"Hey," he whispered. She cracked a little smile but it didn't quite meet her eyes.

"Hey."  
>"How are you?"<p>

She raised her hands, showing the cuffs keeping them together.

He sighed and nodded.

"I'm not giving up, Lisbon. I promise. I won't rest until you're out-"

"Patrick," she interrupted him. "It's okay. You can let go."

"Lisbon. Thirty-five years is too long."

"I know. But there's nothing we can do. We tried, and we failed."  
>He knew nothing to say. Nothing at all. She was right.<p>

"Teresa…" he breathed, calling her by her first name for the first time since she had killed him. It didn't go unnoticed by her.

"I… I…" He wanted to tell her. He really did. But watching her face, he knew she couldn't take hearing this. So he didn't tell her. "I won't give up."

He reached out and touched her cold hands.

"I promise. Okay?"

She wouldn't meet his eyes.  
>"Okay?" She looked at him.<p>

"Okay."

He smiled gently, and she returned his smile. But it still didn't meet her eyes.

"Fischer is being transferred."

She closed her eyes and lowered her head. Fischer was the closest Lisbon had to a best friend, beside himself. Having her transfer to another team or even another building, taking her further away, didn't rest well on her heart, he saw.

"But she promised she would still come and see you."

"Well that's nice."

"Hmm-mm."

She paused.

"I think it's best if you leave now, Jane."

He nodded. They both knew he would be back soon.

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry for this chapter being so short! Next one will be a bit longer and will also have a better plot. Hope you're still with me!**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry for making you wait again!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 8**_

He felt like visiting her house all of a sudden. Soon, it would all be cleaned up so that it could be sold in the near future.

His fingertips touched every surface, every piece of fabric, feeling her flowing through him, as it were. This place was so… _her_. It fit everything she was. He felt at home here.

But then he entered her bedroom, and saw the crime scene still hadn't been cleaned up.

For the first time since he had joined the CBI, he felt like throwing up, but he managed to keep it in, and focused on the scene.

It was obvious where Pike had died – there were still dried up blood stains on the carpet. Strangely, nothing else was messed with; no lamps knocked over, no pillows thrown to the other side of the room. Aside from the blood on the carpet, the room was clean.

He walked around the room, observing everything. He walked into the adjacent bathroom, and that was when he spotted the little dustbin next to the toilet. He peeked inside.

"Oh, that bastard."

He got out his phone and dialed Cho's number.

"Cho, I need your help."

~…~

"But how would you know for sure that Lisbon didn't throw it away herself?"  
>"She hardly knew the guy! Why would she think about having children already?"<p>

Cho frowned at him.

"Aren't you just jealous?"

"No. I know her. She wouldn't do this."

The team stared at him, then at the packs of pills and condoms he had forcefully thrown on the table minutes before.

"I don't think it's enough, Jane. I'm sorry. We just can't prove that Pike threw it away and even then, we can't link it to the emotional abuse. I'm so sorry."

"There has to be something! Come on! She can't go to prison for thirty-five years!"

'_I love her too much for that!'_ he wanted to add but he swallowed the words just in time.

"I think that there's nothing we can do, Jane."

Jane let out a frustrated sigh.

"Do you want me to bring you home?" Cho offered. Jane nodded, giving in. He didn't feel like doing anything right now. He had given himself false hope and had to face the consequential disappointment now.

"Wait," he whispered, then coughed to raise his voice. "Can you bring me to Lisbon's house?"

Cho nodded. "Of course."

~…~

He knew he should feel uncomfortable being in her house like this. He shouldn't even be here to begin with.

He wandered through the house for umpteenth time. Touching every surface again. Swallowing her soul into his.

He got out a bottle of wine from her rack, not such an expensive one, already feeling guilty for taking that one. He poured himself a glass, sipping it to taste.

Hm. She had great taste.

He sat down on the couch, lifting the glass to his lips. He looked around him, seeing the nice plasma TV in the big white closet. Little boxes were stored in the spots underneath the TV behind glass.

He frowned. One of the lids seemed to have been lifted recently, and it wasn't placed back properly.

He took it out, lifting the lid – and felt tears burning in his eyes as he looked at its contents.

His letters.

She had kept them.

"Oh, Teresa," he sighed. He brought them with him to the couch, took another sip of the wine and started reading them. And he was brought back to a time where things had been better, or at least slightly better, especially for her.

Right in that moment, he wished he'd confessed his feelings for her in those letters. It would have saved both of them a lot of trouble.

~…~

He lay in her bed that night, feeling much more comfortable there than he ever had at his own 'home', but he still couldn't sleep.

He called himself a genius. He should be able to fix this, think of a way to get her out. Back at the CBI, he had managed to have a 100% closing rating, having solved every single one of the cases he was served. Yet he couldn't solve this one.

He got up in the middle of the night, searching the house once again. He must be missing something, he must be.

He found a laptop, but it was locked. He called Grace, dodging her questions about Lisbon and cutting right to the chase.

"I have a laptop here. I think there might be something on it that can help Lisbon, but it's locked. How do I open it?"

He followed her instructions carefully, and heaved a sigh when he finally cracked it.

He quickly scanned he files on the computer, and he was starting to lose hope of finding something important on it, until he came across a string of emails, talking about…

Wait.

No. _No!_

The emails described how and when Lisbon would be brought to Washington DC, only to be snatched from there and brought further on a plane to Mexico. Was this human trafficking? And if it was, why would she first have to go to Washington DC and then to Mexico? It didn't make sense, but it looked real. Was it too good to be true?

For the umpteenth time, he called Cho, only now realizing he was waking all of his friends in the middle of the night.

"I think I finally got something."

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><p><strong>AN: I know this chapter made no sense at all but this is probs the most difficult chapter I've written so far. I couldn't think of a way to aid to Lisbon's cause so I just made stuff up and made it sound reasonably logic? I don't know if I succeeded, you'll be the judge of that. Let me know, please! And kudos to you if you had guessed that Pike wasn't so sweet after all! (I still love Pike, tho. Just not for this story.)**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: Here we again with a brand new chapter! This one is a little fluffier, trust me.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 9**_

"Human trafficking?" Cho asked, looking at the screen again.

"Pike was trying to get Lisbon to cross the border to work there." God only knows what she would have to do there.

"I, uh…" Cho blinked, visibly shaken. "I'm gonna have to ask Abbott."

Fortunately, said man was close by, and he came immediately.

He too simply stared at the screen.

"Is this real?"

"I wouldn't be showing you if it wasn't."

And then he started calling people, telling them about what Jane had found.

He still couldn't believe what Pike had been planning. He hadn't expected him to be that kind of man, but apparently, he was exactly that kind.

Apparently, Jane just come closer to getting Lisbon out.

~…~

It took him longer that he'd thought to appeal to her case. Six months later, the court still hadn't started reinvestigating, and with every day they didn't investigate, Lisbon became worse.

He had started visiting her at least once a week, but it was usually once every two days.

"Hey," she started now, yet still whispering. He doubted he would ever hear her voice at full capacity.

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"I should be asking _you_," he replied. She cracked a little smile. He felt his heart warm.

"I'm fine," she said. "Just… so tired. They really need to get me out fast, Jane. I won't last for much longer."

"I know, Lisbon. I'm working on it."

And then they fell into a comfortable silence, watching each other intently.

He hadn't told her what they had found on Pike's computer. He felt she wouldn't be able to take the information that Pike had meant to make her work as a prostitute in Mexico. All he told her was that they had found a lead and they would try and chase it. She hadn't asked what the lead was, anyway. He knew he would probably never tell her.

"Jane?"

"Hmm?"  
>"Are you even sleeping?"<p>

He frowned, but then just sighed.

"No."

She looked him in the eye.

"Why not?"

"Because you're here and I'm there."

She was confused now.

"You can't sleep without me?"

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that 'why' questions are the hardest questions to answer?"

"Jane…"

He sighed again.

"I can't live with the fact that I got away with murdering someone in cold blood, but you have to go to prison for so long for merely defending yourself. I pushed you into his arms, Lisbon. And you wanted – _loved_ – to be with him, because he gave you the attention you craved. I never gave you that attention. I should have. I should have cherished you, treasured you. _Loved_ you. But because of my own stupidness, I never did that."

She reached out and covered his hand, even though it was difficult for her to move her hands because of the cuffs, and because of the guard outside. She didn't stop her, though.

"You were protecting yourself, and me. I understand it, completely."

"If I had given you that attention, you wouldn't have started dating Pike and ultimately wouldn't be here."

"You need to stop blaming yourself for all the bad things that happen around you. This," she said, shaking her cuffs so they made a rattling sound, "is _not_ your fault."

Only now did he realize she was talking out loud and not whispering, like she'd done for months now. He didn't know how to feel about that, to be honest.

"Lisbon… you know I bought your house, right?"

"No?" He didn't like the subject change either, but it was kind of effective anyway. "You did? Wow."

"They were going to sell it. I couldn't let that happen. It's _your_ house. Not theirs."

"You didn't need to do that, Jane. I won't be out in thirty-five years anyway."

He huffed. "Not if it's up to me."

She rolled her eyes. His heart! What was it doing?

"You go home and sleep some, okay? I won't be your mother on this, I just want you to sleep."

He nodded. "I will try. See you."

She smiled softly at him, before they parted ways.

~…~

He suddenly realized that she had killed Pike in this house, in this very room. He realized she would never want to sleep here ever again.

He kept the house, simply because of the principle matter, but he didn't sleep in it anymore, like he had done for months. As a result, he started looking for houses to live in around the neighborhood, and suddenly found himself looking at family houses. Just in case, he told himself.

He hoped she would love it. Hopefully, he would soon be able to show it to her.

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><p><strong>AN: Let me know what you think, please!**


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: So you thought the last chapter was fluffy? Wait for the next one! Also, fair warning: I know the events in this chapter aren't really realistic, especially not in Texas, but _artistic license_. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 10**_

"While the accuser has a very strong case, stronger, one would argue, than the defendant's case, the latter party has one vital piece of evidence that the accuser doesn't; proof that Mister Marcus Pike might have been guilty of human trafficking."

Nobody had told Lisbon yet, Jane suddenly realized, but he decided in that moment he would explain it all to her in a few moments, if he got the chance.

"And this, this changes everything. While the jury still finds Teresa Lisbon guilty, there is now the probability that Miss Lisbon acted out of self-defense."

Come on, cut to the chase, wig.

"Due to the sudden arising of a reasonable doubt of Miss Lisbon's true guilt, it is impossible for the court to keep her charged for this offense. This means that as of August 8th, which is in two days, Miss Lisbon will be released, and all her charges dropped."

Jane actually yelled his relief and happiness into the room, receiving several pats on the back for his good work.

He could only look at Lisbon, who was simply staring at him, tears streaming down her face.

He'd done it. He'd gotten her out.

~…~

He was waiting for her August 8th outside the prison. For some reason, he still felt as though any moment now, they would come and tell him that she would have to stay. For thirty more years.

The heavy doors opened and then his heart stopped beating inside his chest, and he simply stared. She came down the stairs slowly, not trusting her feet. Only in her own clothes did he see how unbelievably skinny she had become. The sharp contrast of her black blazer and her pale skin made him almost break down.

And then, she was standing in front of him. For a while, he didn't know what to say or do, but she eventually was the first to move; she dropped her bags and slowly but surely reached out her arms. He smiled, and did the same, slowly pulling her closer, until all that he could feel was her.

_Finally_.

She started crying but he knew it were happy tears. He just didn't want to let go of her, afraid she might slip away if he did.

"Thank you," she whispered through her sobs. He smiled faintly and kissed the top of her head.

"Any time, Lisbon."

They stood like that for what only seemed seconds but were actually minutes, until he finally pulled away.

"What do you want to do now that you're a free woman again?"

She smiled, exhaustion written all over her face.

"I just want to go home."

"Pretty boring, but okay, I'll go with it."

For the first time in months, he actually heard her chuckling. She grabbed his hand as they walked to the car.

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><p><strong>AN: So, let me know, please!**


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for your reviews! We're getting close to the end now!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 11**_

He had guided her through the house, not telling her why he had bought a family home. He left her at the bathroom, where she took a shower to wash the prison off of her. All that time, he kept guard outside, but he did it more for himself than her.

She emerged with rosy cheeks and damp hair. She looked at him for a few seconds, before walking over to the bedroom.

He followed her on her heels.

She fell onto the bed, but didn't move after that. So he approached the bed, too, scooted her up so her head was resting on a pillow, tucked her in and, without thinking it through, planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

That was when she decided to open her eyes.

He was so close to her now, he could almost look into her very soul.

"Thank you for believing in me and not giving up," she whispered. He shrugged. "No, it's not okay. You pulled through while everyone, including myself, had given up. I can't thank you enough for everything that you've done for me."

He smiled, and so did she.

And then suddenly, he couldn't hold back anymore. All these months of doubt, of suffering alone, of being cold at night, faded into nothingness with her face so close to his.

"I love you, Teresa," he whispered. Her eyes twinkled a bit. It made his heart soar.

Before she could reply, she fell asleep. He was there to hold her through the night.

~…~

Unsurprisingly, she started having nightmares a few hours after she'd fallen asleep. Luckily, he hadn't been able to catch sleep so he was there when she started hyperventilating, and he was immediately brought back to that one horrible night, when he'd heard her hyperventilating over the phone but couldn't do anything about it.

"Teresa," he whispered. She started thrashing with her arms, but he held them still, pressing his lips to her temple, hoping it would bring her back from her nightmare, or would make her nightmare a little better.

Sure enough, her thrashing and hyperventilating subsided until she was merely moaning her discomfort. Her eyes opened slowly, and they found his, although they were clouded by sleep. She clutched at his hands, in an attempt to no doubt show herself that she wasn't alone now.

A few minutes later, she let go.

"Have you been having them a lot?" he asked, seeing as that one night, she'd had a nightmare probably just like this one.

"Yes. Every night."

He closed his eyes. His poor Teresa, she probably hadn't slept all that much in the past six months, just like him.

"They wouldn't do anything about it at the prison," she admitted. "I already asked for help but they wouldn't give it to me."

He brushed her hair.

"Do you want to tell me what your dreams are about?"

"I think you know."

And indeed, he did. He'd had horrible nightmares after he'd killed Red John, too.

"I'm not an expert, but I think you might be suffering from PTSD."

She nodded.

"I wish all of this wouldn't have happened," he whispered. "You didn't deserve this."

She merely scooted closer to him and put her head on his chest.

~…~

With her insisting he sell her old house, he went looking for the most perfect new owners he could imagine. Of course, he didn't tell them about what had happened in the house, it would most likely make every person want to run away, loudly screaming.

But not them. The young couple was excited about every single part of it until they arrived at the bedroom.

The young woman, Jane guessed her to be 23-ish, shuddered. She turned towards him.

"What happened here?" she asked him, and he hesitated. He didn't know if he should tell her, but she was insisting. She reminded him of Lisbon.

"A man was killed here."

She gasped.

"Why?"  
>"He wanted things she didn't want."<p>

"Oh, how terrible! How is she now? What happened to her?"

His fists clenched by his side. He still got so mad just thinking about all she'd had to go through. But still, he told them. All throughout his explanation, he could see they got angry, too.

"That's the justice system for ya," the young man, 28-ish, said. Jane nodded.

The woman's gaze dropped to his left hand.

"Is she your wife now?"

Jane lifted his hand, staring at his wedding ring. In all these months, he hadn't thought of it once. Now that they did, he was reminded of it all of a sudden, too.

"No. Not my wife."

The woman nodded. She looked over at her boyfriend and he nodded, too.

"Mister Jane, we'll take this house. I'm sure we can treat it with the same love as the previous owner has."  
>He wasn't sure of that, but he was glad he had found people who knew of the tragedy that had taken place here, but still loved it anyway.<p>

Much like Lisbon had done with him.

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><p><strong>AN: Next chapter will be the last before the Epilogue! Let me know what your thoughts were, please!**


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: I believe this is the longest chapter so far! Alright alright alriiiight! Anyway, last chapter, very fluffy although there is still some Hurt/Comfort in there. Hope you like the conclusion!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>'<em><strong>Light years away'<strong>_

_**Chapter 12**_

Her therapy was going well, although she still suffered from nightmares from time to time. She also flinched away from him sometimes when he would pull her in for a hug. He knew that was not his fault, nor hers, but it still cut in his heart sometimes.

He had taken off his wedding ring after he had successfully sold her house. He knew she had noticed but she hadn't mentioned it once. That was typically Lisbon, though, and he didn't think it was weird that she hadn't asked him about it.

She was living with him now, but they were pretty much what they had been before all of this, namely; best friends. His love declaration hadn't really changed anything either. The only interactions they had added to their list were hugging and sitting close to each other on the couch or on the bed. They didn't kiss, didn't make love, didn't even share a bed. And yet strangely, he was okay with this.

He would be lying if he said that it made him happy living with her like this. But, then again, he knew it could have been worse.

One day, though, when she came back from one of her therapy sessions, she made him sit down on the couch and she herself took the place next to him.

"I talked to my psychiatrist today."

He nodded, not really knowing where this was going. "I know."

"I, uh… he asked me how you were doing, and, uh… how _we_ were doing, actually."

She stopped there, and now, he was curious as to what she had answered.

She turned some more towards him, grabbing one of his hands.

"I… I… God, this is hard."

He brushed the top of her hand with his thumb.

"I… dammit."

"Why don't you show me, Lisbon? Or sing it? Perhaps that's easier. Or maybe you can write it down-"

He stopped when he saw her come closer towards him, and he felt his heart beat inside his chest.

What is she doing. _What is she doing?!_

She put her free hand against his cheek, rubbing her thumb over his lips.

And then, she slowly closed the gap between them and gently, oh so gently, linked their lips.

His heart went into overload. In a few moments, he was sure he would pass out.

Yet just as soon as the kiss had started, it had ended by her pulling away.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips, then sat back down, her hand still on his cheek. "But it's so difficult, Jane. I don't really have a lot of good experiences with love."

The most recent being, of course, Marcus Pike, who had been planning to use her for human trafficking, and who she had ended up shooting dead.

"You mean too much to me. Really, you're so important to me… and if this would go wrong, I would lose you and I would shatter into tiny pieces. And... I don't trust myself anymore. I only ever shot to stun people, or when it was absolutely necessary to kill them, but... it wasn't necessary with Marcus. He wasn't hitting me, or posing a threat in general... I just snapped, I was so scared... and I don't think that I'll shoot you, I just... I always mess up everything. _Always_. I don't want to mess this up."

She pulled back her hand from his cheek. He instantly moved closer to her.

"I won't let you mess up, Teresa," he whispered. "There would be two people in this relationship. I won't allow this to end badly. You might fear that I'll pull away, or that I won't forgive you for what you've done... but the thing is, I _won't_ pull back, and I _do_ forgive you. You didn't do anything wrong."

He brushed her cheek. "I'm here for you, okay? If you need to talk, please, just talk."

She smiled gently as his thumb brushed her lips like she had done. She leaned into his caress.

"I trust you," she whispered.

"Good," he replied. She rolled her eyes. He made her come closer. She closed her eyes as he put a finger underneath her chin.

He was the one linking their lips now, and butterflies danced in his stomach, his hand almost shaking, his head light.

They kissed for a while, learning each other's texture, taste, what they liked and didn't like, until they were out of breath and were forced to pull away. His hand didn't leave her chin as he stared into her eyes.

He was so lucky.

~…~

She grabbed his hand, and he noticed the little shake in her body. Though her eyes were filled with love and happiness, her posture showed something else entirely.

"We don't need to…"

She put a finger against his lips. He swallowed all his words.

She made him stand up and pulled him away from the couch, into the direction of her bedroom. She linked their lips, and he couldn't stop himself from bowing down and kissing her, passionately, showing her exactly how much she meant to him and how happy he was that she was here with him, safe and sound.

He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet, carrying her to the bedroom the last few steps, where he sat her down on her feet again.

She hugged him, then, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"I love you," she whispered, and he felt tears burning in his eyes as he heard the emotions in her voice. "I love you so much."

His hands brushed the small of her back as he kissed the skin in her neck.

"I love you, too. My dearest, dearest Teresa."

~...~

He kissed his way down her throat and chest, seeing how she had put on some more weight due to better nutrition. She looked full of life now, healthy and happy.

He felt on fire now, his entire being burning with love and lust. He couldn't wait to make this beautiful connection with her.

"Patrick," she sighed. He looked up at her face and saw her looking down. He knew she wanted to skip the foreplay and jump right to the chase, but he wanted to take his time. Yet as he saw her now, he dropped all of his plans, scooting up her body and kissing her lips.

"Don't hold back," she breathed, and he smiled, nodding.

"Okay, my love."

He kissed her again as he joined their bodies, and she pulled away to let out a sigh.

It was over way too fast, the emotional overload making it impossible to last long. Afterwards, they lay in each other's arms, panting from the exertion.

"Patrick?" she whispered.

"Yes?"

"That was amazing."

He chuckled and pulled her even closer, kissing the top of her head.

"Patrick?"

He looked down at her.

"Why did you even buy a family house?"

But he knew she knew. One day, perhaps, they might be able to use this house for its original design. Until that day, they were happy having each other. They needed at least thirty-five years to catch up with everything they had missed out on.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, there you go! Next up: Epilogue! But I'm still working on that so that might take more time. Hang in there, it's on its way! In the meantime, you can let me know what you thought of this chapter, it would be very much appreciated!**


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